38,000,400

Strange things are going through my calculator's tiny mind recently. Some days there are the endless nines, some days nothing. The other day there was not even nothing on its screen, not even the familiar zero. I thought my calculator had finally died and passed on to some kind of digital afterlife.

But no, a quick press of the 'on' button brought it spluttering back to life, and I am glad to see it is still churning out its daily numerical ramblings. The ghost in the machine has not yet given up the ghost.

Speaking of ghosts, since earlier theories of alien communication are probably just as plausible, perhaps I could entertain the notion that my calculator is somehow possessed by spirits, haunted by the soul of some departed mathematician.

Maybe Einstein is still trying to finish his last unfinished theory by channeling my calculator from beyond the grave. He never completed his Unified Field Theory before he died - its the equation that would explain everything in the universe so you can imagine how keen he would be to finish it. I'm sure he wouldn't let something as trivial as his own death get in his way anyway.

I imagine it would take some time untangling the workings of the universe on my calculator, I expect there are also plenty of other dead geniuses queuing up to use it every night for their unfinished business. I wish Einstein the best of luck in his eternal endeavours, even though the final theory of everything will no doubt prove the impossibility of life after death, amongst other things.